Ham Pants Productions

is San Francisco Theater

San Francisco theater like grandma used to make

Root
  • One Last Ham with Feeling!

    Tuesday, 07 May 2013

    Hpp presents web

    You’ve seen us show you what the Spoogillios do. You know what happens in the Ham Pants’ Massage Parlor. You enjoyed the contortions of The Yoga Instructor, found out what happens when Andy wears The Asshole Jacket, and learned never to trust The Old Ones.

    But now, Ham Pants Productions Presents! one last blowout of sketch comedy and more on May 21 8:00 PM Stage Werx. The Sparkleponies will return with sexy hilarity! Princess Creampie will wow you with an adorably twisted song! Gerri “Motherfucking” Lawlor will blow your mind! And John Flaw may or may not be there! All this for the low price of just $10!

    Ham Pants Productions Presents!
    May 21, 2013 at 8:00 pm
    Stage Werx Theatre
    446 Valencia Street (cross street @ 16th St.)
    SF, CA 94103.

    Come visit Ham Pants Productions Presents! one more time … we think you’ll be glad you did.

    And then, keep your ear to the ground. Because there will be an announcement! (At some point.) And it will be HUGE! (Size of announcement can and will not be confirmed nor denied at this time.)

  • Did you know Ham Pants Productions is on Facebook?

    Wednesday, 10 April 2013

    F book

    Did you know Ham Pants Productions is on FACEBOOK?! Because we are. Chances are you’re on facebook, too. If you’d be so kind, please push your facebook into our facebook, and we’ll skip happily down the information superhighway together, sharing updates and photos, and everything! Facebook.

  • Ham Pants is Telling Stories!

    Thursday, 04 April 2013

    Ham Pants Productions Presents!

    This month, Ham Pants Productions Presents: STORYTELLING!

    But not just storytelling. Storytelling of the oh-my-gawd-that’s-so-embarrassing-and-disgusting-and-also-very-funny variety. Because you know who we are, and you like what we do.

    And sometimes, what we do is doo-doo. In our pants. Which is what you’ll hear about, when Ham Pants Productions Presents: STORYTELLING!

    Tuesday, April 16, 2013 @ 8:00 PM
    Stage Werx
    446 Valencia Street between 15th & 16th in San Francisco

    TICKETS: $10 @ the door or ONLINE

  • Ham Pants Productions Presents: Sketch Comedy!

    Monday, 18 March 2013

    Ham Pants Productions Presents!

    Come see Ham Pants Productions Presents! tomorrow, March 19, 2013 @ 8:00 PM at Stage Werx Theatre The Ham Pants Productions cast and crew is prepared to blow your minds out of your mind-casing with our odd and energetic brand of wowie-zowie amazing comedy, excited shouting, and unconscionable delights!

    Ham Pants Productions Presents! is a ONE NIGHT ONLY engagement! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW! Last time we sold-out our Sketch Comedy Showcase, and we want to make sure you get to see just how funny we can be!

  • HPP Presents: BAD TV NIGHT!

    Wednesday, 13 February 2013

    Bad TV Night!

    Ham Pants Productions has a lot of friends. Friends like our friends over at Bad Movie Night. That’s right! Jim Fourniadis and Sherilyn Connelly are walking around the corner to Stage Werx, teaming up with Andy Wenger, Damien Chacona, and the rest of the Ham Pants Productions crew to create Bad TV Night!

    You’ll swear winter is already here as they riff on the first two episodes of the inexplicably popular blood ‘n breasts-fest known as:
    GAME OF THRONES.

    There will be snow-zombies, direwolves, Sean Bean probably but not necessarily living to the end of the night, plus free popcorn, not-at-all free booze, John Flaw on the guitar singing the Ham Pants Theme Song, Jim Fourniadis on the banjo singing the Bad Movie-cum-TV Night theme song—and, as always, the audience (that’s you) will be encouraged to join in and yelling the screen. Don’t worry, the program can handle it.
    This is fucking GAME OF THRONES.

    Ham Pants Productions Presents: Bad TV Night
    GAME OF THRONES Episodes 1 & 2

    Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 8:00 PM
    $5 at the Door or Online!

    Stage Werx Theatre
    446 Valencia Street (cross street @ 16th St.)
    SF, CA 94110.

  • NDRL is Getting Press!

    Wednesday, 06 February 2013

    NDRL

    Come see us show off our tentacles on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at the Stage Werx Theatre!

    And in the meantime, check out:
    Equality in sexy book reading achieved with Naked Dudes Reading Lovecraft on IO9
    and Do This Tonight: Naked Men Reading H.P. Lovecraft at Stage Werx over at SF Weekly!

    You should also buy tickets while they’re still available!

  • Ham Pants Productions Presents!

    Wednesday, 07 November 2012

    Ham Pants Productions Presents!

    Ham Pants Productions has a lot of friends. Friends with talents you’ve only begun to discover. Friends that Ham Pants Productions would like to present to you, if you’ll only come to Stage Werx Theatre and pay us $10 so we’ll let you inside.

    Ham Pants Productions Presents! will be … presenting:
    SKETCH COMEDY!
    The SEXY DANCING of THE SPARKLEPONIES!
    The DIRTY SONGS of JOHN FLAW and PRINCESS CREAM PIE!
    PSYCHOTIC LOVE POETRY!
    MORE!

    Ham Pants Productions Presents! premieres on January 15, 2013 at 8:00 pm in the illustrious Stage Werx Theatre at 446 Valencia Street (cross street @ 16th St.) SF, CA 94110.

    Come see Ham Pants Productions Presents! provide shouting and excitement in all its forms for the low price of just $10!

    What is Ham Pants Productions Presents!? Just a little sketch comedy, singing, dancing, and general chicanery from San Francisco’s best best-kept theatrical secret!

  • The Wrong Dick is now on DVD!

    Wednesday, 07 November 2012

    Photo10 the wrong dick

    And you can buy one now, for the eminently reasonable price of $5.00 (plus $1.50 s&h) which is $6.50 total for a DVD with a play on it!

    Is that a deal? That is a deal!

    Each DVD includes one performance of The Wrong Dick cobbled together out of several performances of The Wrong Dickand a special alternate scene in San Francisco Darla's Jazz Club!

    All proceeds go to Ham Pants Productions, who would really like to put on a new show, with your money.

  • The Wrong Dick SF WEEKLY Review!

    Thursday, 10 May 2012

    Mort & Gorls Poster02

    The Wrong Dick ... is as much a love letter to detective noir as it is a spoof.”
    -Lily Janiak, SF Weekly

    The Wrong Dick ... has the right style, with over-the-top props, prolific gore, and hackneyed-sounding rainy-day jazz in between the scenes.”
    -Lily Janiak, SF Weekly

    Read the full SF Weekly review of The Wrong Dick!

  • The Wrong Dick on KPOO 89.5 FM!

    Tuesday, 01 May 2012

    Photo08 the wrong dick

    The Wrong Dick on Let Me Touch Your Mind with Marilynn Fowler on KPOO 89.5 FM! Featuring Damien Chacona, Khamara Pettus, and Andy Wenger!

    GIVE IT A LISTEN!

    THE WRONG DICK
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    Tickets: $20 online or at the door.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

  • The Wrong Dick on FCC Free Radio!

    Tuesday, 01 May 2012

    Photo02 the wrong dick

    The Wrong Dick interviewed by LILYCAT ON STUFF on FCC Free Radio! Featuring Damien Chacona and Khamara Pettus!

    GIVE IT A LISTEN!

    THE WRONG DICK
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    Tickets: $20 online or at the door.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

  • The Wrong Dick Promo from 915 Cayuga!

    Tuesday, 01 May 2012

    915 logo

    The Wrong Dick Promo, from 915 Cayuga , performed by Damien Chacona, John Flaw Harrison, & Khamara Pettus! Music by the illustrious Kirk Hamilton and the 915 Band!

    GIVE IT A LISTEN!

    THE WRONG DICK
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    Tickets: $20 online or at the door.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

  • The Wrong Dick Opens May 3, 2012!

    Monday, 09 April 2012

    The Wrong Dick MacGuffin_01

    THE WRONG DICK
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    Tickets: $20 online or at the door.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

    It’s been told that 1940s San Francisco was not a very nice place. Was it fun to visit? Yes. Would you want to live there? It depends on what you’re into.

    The streets of noir-era San Francisco run rampant with violence, drugs, and ladies of the prostitute persuasion. Unfortunately for Mort Fiskarmann, he just stumbled onto the remains of not one, not two, not three, but four dead prostitutes. Dick MacGuffin, Private Eye extraordinaire and savvy operator of San Francisco’s grimy underbelly, may be able to help Mort figure out what really happened. But MacGuffin seems to like dope, guns, and girls more than he likes helping Mort…

    Traveling a serpentine path from the Embarcadero to the Dogpatch to Chinatown and many points in between, Mort Fiskarmann and Dick MacGuffin search for the real culprit of the Embarcadero Prostitute Massacre. It’s obvious to Dick that Mort isn’t responsible for the heinous crime. Unfortunately, there are others in San Francisco’s seedy depths who have decided that Mort is going to pay for what they think he’s done…

    THE WRONG DICK
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    Tickets: $20 online or at the door.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

  • The Wrong Dick Press Kit is now available!

    Wednesday, 28 March 2012

    MacGuffin_01

    Download now!

    Includes:
    Includes press release in .docx & pdf format, 11 press photos in .jpg format, and photo manifest in .docx & pdf format.

    Please contact Damien Chacona at damien@hampantsproductions.com for more information.

  • Ham Pants Productions presents:

    Thursday, 16 February 2012

    The Wrong Dick

    Mort Fiskarmann is a good man. He buys fish for a living. He plays by the rules. But a chance encounter with a pile of dead prostitutes has changed all that. Now, he’s being harassed by the cops for murders he couldn’t even begin to commit. Dick MacGuffin, shabby Private Eye and shady customer extraordinaire may be able to help Mort find the real killer. But first, he’s going to need some money. And a sammitch. Also, a pack of smokes. And some more money… Oh, some of those éclairs that are like little éclairs?

    From the writing team that brought you The Safe Way and Random Idiot Factor comes a story about the dark and funny underbelly of noir-era San Francisco that never was nor should have been.

    The Wrong Dick

    Starring:
    Tim Kay, Damien Chacona, Travis Eichhorn, Cameron Eng, Jim Fourniadis, John Harrison, Monica Hernandez, Becky Hirshfeld, Krylon, Dave Mckew, Bronson McKinley, Khamara Pettus, Lionel Rouge, Carrina Maree, Craig Souza, Dee Trimble, Andrew Wenger, and more!

    Featuring the Music of: John Flaw

    Written by: Andy Wenger & Damien Chacona

    Directed by: Andy Wenger

    Tickets go on sale April 9, 2012

    Performances:
    Thursdays, Fridays, & Saturdays
    May 3-5, 10-12, 17-19 & 24-26 @ 8:00 PM.

    The Dark Room Theater
    2263 Mission Street, between 18th and 19th
    San Francisco, CA 94110

  • The Twilight Pants (or The Ham Pants Zone)

    Wednesday, 19 May 2010

    Twilight Zone: Live Season VII

    Twilight Zone: Live Season VII is playing at The Dark Room Theater and Ham Pants Productions will be there on May 28 and 29 at 8:00 pm to present The Howling Man, written by Damien Chacona, Andy Wenger, and Jason Lewis (who never actually watched the original Twilight Zone episode but managed to rewrite it anyway. With prospectors. And prostitutes. And Bronson McKinley. And Mick Mize. And Lionel Rouge. And Cameron Eng. And Carrina Schindler. And Khamara Pettus. And the musical styling of the naked half of Vagabondage: Johnny “Nekkid” Harrison!)

    Only two shows of The Howling Man will be performed! Tickets are $20 at the door, but you can beat the rush and get a $5 discount if you buy your tickets online and use the discount code MAGGIE.

    We’ll be wearing our cured pork britches, so come see us play on stage!

  • "The Story" is online!

    Saturday, 05 December 2009

    That’s right, folks! The two video interludes from Random Idiot Factor are available for your viewing interest and pleasure! The entirety of Random Idiot Factor will be up on the site soon, but in the meantime, enjoy!

  • Random Idiot Factor pictures!

    Monday, 16 November 2009

    Zombie-J has taken insane. (Photo by: Emily Laubach)

    Random Idiot Factor has been a huge success night after night after night! Check us out in the gallery! We’ll be uploading pictures of Random Idiot Factor on stage and behind the scenes all week!

    The last week of Random Idiot Factor is upon us! For a guaranteed seat at our last three shows, buy tickets online!

    Two-for $30 Thursday presale tickets have sold out, but you can still buy them at the door, Thursday, November 19 at 7:30 pm!

  • RANDOM IDIOT FACTOR tickets are going fast!

    Wednesday, 21 October 2009

    Presale tickets for Random Idiot Factor are nearly sold out! Buy yours now! Don’t forget: tickets are two-for $30 on Thursdays and $20 on Fridays and Saturdays!

  • Ham Pants Productions is Socially Networked!

    Wednesday, 14 October 2009

    Random Idiot Factor

    That’s right, folks! Ham Pants Productions has a Facebook page! If you have a Facebook page, please friend us, and tell your friends how fancy-cool we are!

    We also have a Facebook page for Random Idiot Factor! Let us know if you or your friends are coming to see our (hilarious and brilliant) new show!

  • Ham Pants Productions Presents: People!

    Monday, 12 October 2009

    See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.

    At Ham Pants Productions, we cultivate talent using The World’s Oldest Profession (i.e., marketing). That said, Ham Pants has updated our PEOPLE page, with all the juicy links, media, and chicanery you’ve come to expect from Andy Wenger, Damien Chacona, Monica Hernandez, Carrina Schindler, John Harrison, Justus Bends, Dan Foley, and Zombie-J (the people whose stuff was just added, just now).

    For at least an hour of distracting hilarity to forward to your friends with the subject line: OMG! U have 2 C this!!!, visit our newly updated PEOPLE page. We’ll be glad you did.

  • Tickets are available for RANDOM IDIOT FACTOR!

    Sunday, 20 September 2009

    Random Idiot Factor

    Tickets now available for RANDOM IDIOT FACTOR! Ham Pants Productions announces the opening of their new original comedy, RANDOM IDIOT FACTOR.

    RANDOM IDIOT FACTOR opens November 5th at 8 pm and runs Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays through November 21!

    Tickets are $20 and two-for $30 on Thursdays! Buy tickets now!